Knowing what we want is the first step to getting it.
Otherwise, we’re unfocussed. All we know is that something feels unsatisfying or unsettled. With even a vague idea about where the solution might lie, we have a way to move towards it.
Having some idea of how we define beauty allows us to attain the look we want. Otherwise, we become blown around by the winds of outside voices and outside forces.
There are no right or wrong answers. Makeup or no makeup; neither is wrong or right.
We want what we want. It doesn’t need to be justified. It needs to be clarified.
Fame and riches? Perfectly fine. They’re not bad or harmful or scarce resources.
Nobody gets to weigh in or approve that what we want is a worthy cause.
They will, of course. That’s our training ground for sticking to our guns or seeing our goals from a new perspective. This is also our training ground for learning to be clear and deliberate about the impact we allow others to have in our lives. The choice is ours, not theirs. This is an especially fun exercise with family.
Pretending that we don’t want what we want because some judgment or opinion is hanging around means it takes longer to happen, if it ever does.
We always have choices. My nomination for Best Look Award is an appearance that doesn’t look manufactured. The woman’s lip and blush colour might have happened by themselves. The hair could have grown out of that head, the jewelry out of that body. I can look calmly at her face and have a conversation with her eyes, without the feeling that my eyes are zinging around processing pieces of a few puzzles at the same time.
Here are some appearance choices that would yield entirely different results:
- We could wear comfort clothes.
- We could decide that celebs (and their stylists) are making excellent decisions and follow their lead.
- We could look like makeup artists on YouTube.
- We could look like our friends. “Nobody is doing pink lips this year.”
- We could be true to ourselves.
I choose #5. It took me 50 years and a person in my life with singular clarity (a business coach) to teach me this skill. Besides looking worse with any other choice, I would be failing myself.
Once you locate the road that leads you to yourself, other paths are no longer a real option.
True to me becomes your rudder when you don’t know what to do next. When the road branches, you know which way to go: this choice is more true to me than that choice. As your skills grow, the choices narrow, and your appearance slowly becomes the physical manifestation of your energy field. Now there is a woohoo moment, as much to see it as to be it.
My colour analysis clients receive a list of questions one week before the appointment. One of the questions (actually all of them, from various directions) ask what they want to achieve with their appearance choices.
A recent client amazed me by saying Integrity. When I asked what she meant by that, she replied, “I want to dress like my true self with my real purpose.” I thought I heard angels sing.
The psychology of appearance. Is that a career?
The day following her analysis, the client said, “I feel like my look is so different but also that it just feels like the look I’m supposed to have.”
If your choice is to dress true to yourself, you still need a way in.
Sometimes, you know your choice but you can’t find the entrance, any entrance, a way to get started.
If looking like your true self is your choice, colour analysis is an entrance.
Colour analysis connects the interior with the exterior, like getting the entire border of a 1000 piece puzzle placed in one afternoon. No big deal? What if it were a magic puzzle? All the pieces are the same colour until they get closer to one another. Then they start to shift in colour and shape!
I could tell you that this is the colour analyst’s world. In a way, it is. But in the (approximate) words of one of my heroines, Flavia de Luce (in Alan Bradley‘s As Chimney Sweepers Come to Dust), it wouldn’t be right of me to let you think that science is magic.
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